Mahabharata – The Age factor

The Mahabharata is an ancient religious epic of India. It has existed in many forms, the fundamental one being a text in ancient Sanskrit, which may well be the world's second largest book (after the Gesar Epic of Tibet I think).

Mahabharata has existed in various forms for well over two thousand years:

Ø      First, starting in the middle of the first millennium BCE, it existed in the form of popular stories of Gods, kings, and seers retained, retold, and improved by priests living in shrines, ascetics living in retreats or wandering about, and by traveling bards, minstrels, dance-troupes, etc.

Ø      Later, after about 350 CE, it came to be a unified, sacred text of 100,000 stanzas written in Sanskrit, distributed throughout India by kings and wealthy patrons, and declaimed from temples.

Ø      Even after it became a famous Sanskrit writing it continued to exist in various performance media in many different local genres of dance and theater throughout India and then Southeast Asia.

Ø      Finally, it came to exist, in numerous literary and popular transformations in many of the non-Sanskrit vernacular languages of India and Southeast Asia, which (with the exception of Tamil, a language that had developed a classical literature in the first millennium BCE) began developing recorded literatures shortly after 1000 CE.

The Mahabharata was one of the two most important factors that created the "Hindu" culture of India (the other was the epic, Ramayana), and the Mahabharata and Ramayana still exert tremendous cultural influence throughout India and Southeast Asia.

But the historical importance of the Mahabharata is not the main reason to read about it.  Quite simply, the Mahabharata is a powerful and amazing text that inspires awe and wonder.  It presents sweeping visions of the cosmos and humanity and intriguing and frightening glimpses of divinity in an ancient narrative that is accessible, interesting, and compelling for anyone willing to learn the basic themes of India's culture.  The Mahabharata definitely is one of those creations of human language and spirit that has traveled far beyond the place of its original creation and will eventually take its rightful place on the highest shelf of world literature beside Homer's epics, the Greek tragedies, the Bible, Shakespeare, and similarly transcendent works.

Oh! I sometimes go overboard speaking about history. Anyways. Though all the above is true – Mahabharata should be read and understood for one very important reason, which would give us a measure of the reducing levels of “competence” and “energy” in the human race over the period of time. This realization dawned on me a few months back and all this while I was thinking of how to put the theory in words. After giving it a lot of thought I ended up putting it in the simplest of the forms – lest we miss the concept being put across.

Now we all have heard about the physical, mental & spiritual powers of the warriors of those times (Dvapara Yuga). We know how strong and powerful were Bharata, Bhishma, Dhruturashtra, Pandavas and Kauravas. We know that Bhishma laid on the arrow-bed for day’s altogether – till much after Mahabharata ended! We also know the visual powers of Sanjay who could see the war happening miles away and who also gave a running commentary of every aspect of war to Dhruturashtra (The Blind King). We also know how Abhimanyu learnt the art/ trick of entering into a Chakraviyuh – the ultimate trap for any warrior. The story goes that Arjuna was explaining the pregnant Subhadra – his wife –tricks of entering into Chakraviyuh and breaking out of it. Though Subhadra “famously” slept midway and could not hear the ways and tricks for coming out of the Chakraviyuh. Hence Abhimanyu (who was the unborn child then) also could not hear (Some Science that)! And therefore he never came to know how to come out of the Chakraviyuh – which ultimately became the reason of his cruel death. We all also know the greatness of Pandavas (supported actively by Lord Krishna) and their famous victory over the much-celebrated front line warriors of their enemy (The likes of Kaurvas and greats like Karna, Bhishma, Dronacharya, Acharya Kripacharya, Eklavya and many more). We all do know some or most of what happened in the epic war called Mahabharata.

Now put your thinking caps on and answer a few questions. What was Dhruturashtra’s age during Mahabharata war? What was Gandhari’s (wife of Dhruturashtra and mother of 101 children) age? And then what indeed were the ages of the famous Kaurava brothers, Pandavas and for that matter Bhishma during the time of Mahabharata war? I wish to calculate their approximate ages (since no concrete text is available in historical enclaves on the same). By the time I end you will realize why I was shaken out of my senses when I did this calculation.

Ok so let us first start with the mother of Kauravas – Gandhari (Princess of a province called Gandhar – the modern day Kandahar in Afghanistan). It is said that after marrying Dhruturashtra, Gandhari gave birth to a lump of flesh, which Acharya Vyasa (the compiler of Mahabharata, and sometimes narrator and vital participant) cut into 100 pieces and kept each one in a pot. At the appropriate time, each piece was born as a son and thus 100 sons were born to Gandhari. (Mahabharata, Aadhiparvam, chapter 114, sloka 17). Now Vyasa was no genetic engineer and there is nothing to corroborate that he was one – so we will stick to the general convention that Kaurava brothers and their sister (The above verse from Adhiparvam does not tell about the birth of the sister of the Kauravas – Dushala) were a result of more “conventional ways”. In any case we are more bothered about the “time” aspect of the whole process. So, we know that Gandhari had 101 kids. Now assuming a period of 9 months for each child to take birth – the total number of months Gandhari was pregnant would approximately be: 101 * 9 = 909 Months. That comes to 909/12 = 76 years (approx). (Woof!) Now assuming also that there must have been a Gap of at least 6 months between the birth of each child – 101 * 6 = 606 Months i.e. 606/12 = 50-51 Years (approx). That means the total period between the birth of Duryodhana (the eldest child of Gandhari & Dhruturashtra) and his Sister Dushala (the youngest kid of the couple) would have been almost 127 years (76 + 51)! Now add the age of Gandhari when she must have got married to Dhruturashtra. It is fair to assume that Gandhari would have been married at the age of around 15-16 (since they got married at an early age in those days). So add 16 to the above figure and we see that Gandhari was around 143- 145 years of age when she gave birth to the last child! That is phenomenal! The Mahabharata war had all the Kauravas participating in it and Dushala was already married before the Mahabharata war began (The war lasted for 18 days). Dushala got married to Jaidrath (Prince of Sindhu Kingdom). Add 15 more years (at least) to Gandhari’s age and hence she must have reached around 160 Years of age by the time Mahabharata started! It is also a fact that she died much after the Mahabharata war ended! Amazing!

And what about Dhruturashtra? He would have been atleast 10-15 years older to Gandhari. That means he must be around the age of 175 years when Dushala was born! Which implies that Duryodhana was around 147-150 (approx) at the time of going to war! Now keeping this as base let us work out the age of Yudishthir (Eldest son of King Pandu and cousin to Duryodhana) & other prominent Pandavas. Yudishthir was much elder to Duryodhana and hence he must have been around 170 or so! And since Bheema was also elder to Duryodhan (but younger to Yudishthir) – he must have been in the range of 160 Years! Oof! Lord Krishna must have been around 145-150 years of age since he was younger to Bheema but was elder to Arjuna! And since there was not much difference between the ages of Krishna and Arjuna – it is fair to assume that Arjuna must be around 140-145 years of age.

Hey, Hey – it does not end here. It’s heating up only now! Read on. Now we all know that Karna was born to Princess Kunti (Mother of Pandavas) before her marriage to King Pandu. It is then fair to say that Karna would have been around 180-185 years of age as he was much older to Yudishthir himself (who must have been around 170 years of age at the time of Mahabharata, as per our calculation above)! I mean can you beat that! And they all were in their prime form during the war. For devil’s sake – Arjuna had a grown up son (from his wife – Subhadra) named Abhimanyu during the time of Mahabharata war. Which means – Arjuna would have married Subhadra at the age of around 110-115 years! Now that is absolutely amazing considering the trend in the current generation! To marry after reaching 100 years of age is ridiculously unthinkable today! Forget that – even to live beyond 80 years is considered to be an achievement in these times!

And what about the age of Dronacharya (the Guru of all the Kauravas and Pandavas)? He was a renowned Guru (Teacher) of that era when he was called upon to teach the princes of Hastinapur Kingdom (The kingdom ruled by King Pandu and Dhruturashtra later). Both Kauravas & Pandavas were kids when they were sent to the school (Aashram) of Dronacharya to learn the art of fighting. Considering that Dronacharya must have been around the age of 40 when he started teaching the wards – then he must have been around 200-210 years of age when Mahabharata happened! And to think of the age of Great Bhishma (Granduncle of the Pandavas and Kauravas) makes it all the more chaotic. He would definitely be around 250 years of age. Don’t forget that he was the son of the first wife of King Shantanu (Princess Ganga) and he was approximately 20-30 years of age (as per records) when Shantanu married Satyavati (Grandmother of Pandu & Dhruturashtra). Calculate back and you will find that you will get a figure of 250 as Bhishma’s age! And Bhishma was still fighting at that age? Was he really human? And if you do read the story of those 18 days of Mahabharata war – you will find that Bhishma was the toughest “bloke” to beat! In fact they had to call upon the help of a eunuch (Shikhandi) to ultimately kill Bhishma on the 7^th day of the war. Amazing again!

Am I jabbering? Hardly so! Mind you, nowhere is it written (in any of the Mahabharata versions) that all the Kaurava kids were born together or within a year or two. There is also no mention of twins being born to Gandhari. So it is fair to assume that they all were born in the normal, conventional cycle defined by nature i.e. one after the other. This calculation cannot be wrong unless Genetic Engineering was a preferred mode of “generating” babies in hordes! Or unless the whole of Mahabharata is a farcical story meant for amusement of people.

Spare a thought. These all men were way beyond the age of 130 and still were at prime of their “youth and power”! Look at their ages when they were getting married – 100, 120 and so on! What tenacity, what potency levels really! How did they manage to stay “young” even at that age is difficult to fathom. And let us not forget that other than the Kauravas (and a few other major warriors who were killed during the war) – everybody else lived till much later in life. Pandavas, Krishna, Dhrutrashtra, Gandhari, Kunti, and others lived for long after Mahabharata! It is just inconceivable today where the whole world keeps track of all the people who manage to cross the age of 100 years! And there are not many doing so anyways.

Can this theory be correct? I don’t know. I have not got over the shock and I am sure you must also be wondering by now. Am waiting to be proved wrong – want to get over the feeling of awe really. But somehow logic says that I cannot be off the track by too huge a margin. But boy! What if I am right? Phew! Hats off to the guys of that era. They did have something EXTRA in them!

Think about it.

Mantosh Singh..

1^st June 2005’

Am I a proud Indian?

The article/ write-up “Facts to make every Indian proud” (in the last edition of NUCMAG) made interesting reading. It lists a few of the achievements of our country. Almost all the achievements date back to a few hundred years. Life has changed and so has the country. Those who live in the past are doomed. Those who only look back and smile will be met with hiccups in future. It is good to learn from the past – but it is damning to just look at the past and smile. Thomas Jefferson once said – “I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past”. Past is history my friends. It is our present, which will help us in achieving future goals. Rene Pascal made a very interesting observation “We never take care of the present moment, if anyone examines his thoughts, he will find them entirely taken up with the past or the future... so we never live, but hope to live; and since we are always preparing to be happy, it is inevitable that we shall never be so”.

We need to ask ourselves – in the present scenario – are we really proud of our country? Still Better – are we really proud of being Indian?

Allow me to present my case in front of you today.

Why should I be proud of India? Just because Aryabhatta invented Zero? Just because first University of the world was established in Takshila in 700 BC? Just because India was once called The Golden Bird? Should I be proud just because India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years? Really? I thought India marched against erstwhile East Pakistan (now Bangladesh) in 1971 war? Aryabhatta’s Aryabhatiyam, which sketches his mathematical, planetary, and cosmic theories were derived more than thousand years ago! India was called a Golden Bird a few centuries ago! And Takshila University, which was made a a couple of thousand years ago, does not even exist today. Are these the things that should make me a proud Indian today?

What should I be proud of today? Should I be proud of the fact that more than a third of the total numbers of Members of Parliament are non-graduates? These people are supposed to make laws for us and govern. Am I supposed to be proud of it? Should I be proud of the politicians raising Caste and Religious issues time and again to garner votes and create disharmony? I should definitely be proud of the religious and fanaticism that has been a part of our lives these days – is it not? Where is our religious and social tolerance that we were known for in the past? Should I be proud of being counted as a citizen of the country that finds its place in top 15 corrupt countries in the world? Should I be proud of the scams that have happened in our country? There have been more than five-dozen – big and small – scams reported in India in the last 5 years! Am I supposed to be proud of it? Should I be proud of the fact that every year when one part of our country is flooded – the other part experiences drought? Isn’t it ironical that we have not been able to make a proper water distribution policy in last 56 years of our independence to ensure that everybody gets at least proper drinking water? Or should I perhaps be proud of the large-scale poverty in our country? Should I then be proud of the lack of basic infrastructure like roads and electricity across the length and breadth of the country? We could at least have had all the villages and cities around the country connected by road and could have provided electricity to every house. That is not asking for too much. Or – is it? Should I be proud of my country, which has been attacked and was enslaved more than once – first by Mughals and Afghanis and then by different European powers? How many countries do we know that have been enslaved more than once by some outside power or nation? Should I again be proud of the dowry system prevalent in our country? Should I be proud of the people today who leave India to get citizenships of other countries? Should I be proud of our judicial system? A judicial system where it takes years to resolve a case? Should I be proud of two Heads of State & the Father of nation being assassinated in our own country? Or should I be proud of the large scale rioting and looting that happens on a regular basis? Should I be proud of the police and administrative system of India? How many of us feel secure in the presence of police personnel around us? And I thought they are meant to provide us with a sense of security!

Our National Game is Hockey – isn’t it? How many of us watch a hockey game involving India? How many of us know who is the current captain of Indian Hockey team? Should I be proud of my countrymen who have ignored our National Game for a game called cricket? Am I supposed to be proud and crazy about cricket? Why? Are their achievements so great? Should I be proud of my cricket team, which has not won a single series abroad in last 18-19 years (I am excluding the insignificant wins in the sub-continent against Bangladesh and Sri Lanka)? We are proud of Sachin Tendulkar being the greatest batsman ever. But have we ever bothered to see whether he deserves that kind of accolade? Ask yourselves – How many times has Sachin Tendulkar played a match-winning knock in fourth innings of a Test Match? After all great players are supposed to win matches. Aren’t they? And I am supposed to be proud of him just because he has scored maximum number of centuries? Again – Tiger is our National Animal. Should I be proud of my country because the largest amount of poaching of tigers happens here? For God’s sake – there are only a few hundred of them left in the world. Shouldn’t we so-called proud citizens of the country save our National Game and Animal from getting extinct?

Should I be proud of all these things? Can anyone be proud of it?  No Sir – neither can I nor can any self-respecting citizen of our country be proud of the above facts.

Ironically our huge population is quoted as the reason for the lack of progress in our country and is called the biggest curse. On the contrary – I am not so perturbed about the huge population of India. Mark my words readers – it is this population of India, which will help in attaining our supremacy in the world tomorrow. Let us not blame our own population for anything and everything. This very “Huge” population will make us proud. Numbers will matter someday – I am sure it would.

I rest my case by concluding thus:

Am I a Patriot? Yes, I am. Do I love my country? Yes, I do.

Am I proud of it? No, I am not – Not today at least.

Are you?

Mantosh Singh..

GERMANY AND INVENTIONS

Germany – a country with rich history.

This article is a tribute to the Germans who against all logic and trends emerged from dust at the dawn of year 1944 (end of Second World War) to one of the prosperous nations today.

I would like to bring to your notice some of the contributions made by Germans to the society as a whole. I am sure you will be amazed by the time this article gets over that most of the inventions (in the period before 1940) made in the field of science and medicine were by Germans. They had the scientific temper and superior technological knowledge to achieve greater heights. The massive defeat in the Second World War, which eventually destroyed the scientific fabric of this nation – has been, according to me the biggest loss to the world.

As Winston Churchill would have said – Never have so many owed so much to so few. Well – we will see why!

To substantiate – let us look at this brief list of major inventions made by the German Scientists.

1)      Solar system, universe and Planetary motion laws by Johannes Kepler: The Kepler Laws accurately describe the revolutions of the planets around the sun.

2)      Continental drift theory by Wegener, Alfred Lothar: According to Wegener, the present continents on earth were originally one large landmass he called Pangaea that gradually separated and drifted apart. He argued that the continents were still in the process of change and are still altering.

3)      Airship by Zeppelin Ferdinand, Graf von: An aircraft that consists of a cigar-shaped gas bag, or envelope, filled with a lighter-than-air gas to provide lift, a propulsion system, a steering mechanism, and a gondola accommodating passengers, crew, and cargo.

4)      Nuclear fission by Otto Hahn: The development of the atomic bomb was based on this work.

5)      Radioactivity by Wilhelm K. Roentgen: The man who defined X-Rays!

6)      Aspirin by Dr. Felix Hoffman.

7)      Automobile by Karl Benz, Gottlieb Daimler: The first automobile powered by an internal-combustion engine. Benz's company became Daimler-Benz AG, the manufacturer of the Mercedes-Benz automobile.

8)      Engine, internal combustion by Rudolf Diesel: The man who invented Diesel.

9)      Helicopter by Heinrich Focke.

10)  Radio by Heinrich Hertz: Radio set using spark coil, generator of electromagnetic waves for reception.

11)  Thermometer by Galileo Galilei: First ever Thermometer to measure Temperature.

12)  Printing by Gutenberg, Johann: Method of printing from movable type.

13)  Motorcycle by Gottlieb Daimler: Improvements in the internal-combustion engine, made in the 1880s, contributed largely to the development of the automobile industry

14)  Cholera bacterium, Tuberculosis bacterium by Robert Koch: Established the bacterial cause of many infectious diseases and discovered the microorganisms causing anthrax (1876), wound infections (1878), tuberculosis (1882), conjunctivitis (1883), cholera (1884), and other diseases

15)  DNA (Deoxyribonucleic acid) by Friedrich Meischer.

16)  Quantum theory by Planck, Max: The hypothesis that oscillating atoms absorb and emit energy only in discrete bundles (called quanta) instead of continuously, as assumed in classical physics. The success of his work and subsequent developments by Albert Einstein, Niels Bohr, Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrödinger, and others established the revolutionary quantum theory.

17)  Ohm's law by Georg S. Ohm: His study of electric current led to his formulation of the law now known as Ohm's law

18)  Uncertainty principle by Werner Heisenberg: he defined that position and velocity of an object cannot both be measured exactly, at the same time.

And the biggest Gift of Germany to this world has been Albert Einstein. Einstein published his special theory of relativity. This resulted in the shocking conclusion that time is not constant. Neither is weight or mass. When moving at high speeds, all of these things get compressed; only the speed of light remains the same. That happens because, said Einstein, energy is equal to mass times the speed of light squared, or E = mc²!!

That is an amazing list of achievement for one single country!

It is interesting to note here that all the inventions listed above have come about in the period between 1800 and 1940 AD! It shows very clearly that Germans were way ahead of the other countries in the field of science, aviation and medicine. But for the Second World War - things would have been different. Well who knows?

Air of superiority leads to arrogance – they say. Superiority leads to the pernicious doctrine of superior and inferior nations and races. That Germany succumbed to this trap of superiority complex – lead to its fall from glory. The result was the shifting of focal point of scientific activity from Germany to other Axis Western powers. Only time will tell – whether the world’s scientific community would have gained, had Germany held on to its scientific brilliance.

I, with your permission dear readers would like to take this opportunity to salute these great men with great adventurous vision, who once belonged to this great country – GERMANY.

As Germans would say – HAIL GERMANY!

Its Montoo..

INTERVIEW

An interview with a Minister (of the Ruling Party) in Central Government

This is being telecast live on a private news channel. This is year 2002.

Interviewer: Namashkar Mantri ji. Welcome to our show of FINDING FACTS

Mantri ji: Namashkar hai ji. How are you?

Interviewer: I am fine Mantri ji. So tell me how do you judge the current situation in the country?

Mantri ji: Oh Kamaal ki baat pooch li aapney (O! you have asked a funny question). O ji – Country is fine. It is prospering, it is growing, it is… mmmmm… it is… it is…Shining! Yes – India is Shining! Can’t you see?

Interviewer: Shining? But where?

Mantri ji: Oh that is why I say you should look properly. You reporters always look at all the wrong places. India is shining everywhere

Interviewer: But if it is everywhere then why are we not able to see it?

Mantri ji: O yaar – yahi to. When I am saying it is shining means it is.

Interviewer: Ok Mantriji if you are so adamant let us get on to the fact-finding mission with you one by one.

Mantri ji: Ok (getting up from his seat) Chalo (Lets go).

Interviewer: No No – I mean I will take you through some major states of the country and you tell me what is shining there.

Mantri ji: Arre Kamaal kar diya tumney (Very funny) – Ok – I am a Mantri – I am supposed to know everything. You ask.

Interviewer: Mantri Ji, you say India is Shining – how is it shining if there are people dying in Kashmir everyday and they don’t have any security in that state?

Mantri ji: Lo kar lo baat – Bhai, Kashmir is a separate issue. It is our part of land and we will not allow Pakistan to keep the Land with them. We will take back whatever they have and will route out terrorism from its root. Terrorism is the bane of our society. After September the 11^th the Al-Quaeda is on the run. Bin Laden is hiding – but he will be caught because American, England, and western countries….

Interviewer: Mantri ji Mantri ji – just a minute. I had asked about Kashmir and your claim about India is Shining…

Mantri ji: Wohi to bata raha hoon (that is what I am trying to tell)… Since the whole world is after the terrorists and fighting terrorism, the terrorists will be routed out some day and Kashmir problem will be automatically resolved.

Interviewer: But Mantri ji – what is the relation…

Mantri ji: Oh Yaar you all will never understand. See these other countries will run after terrorists and destroy them. Our Problem of Kashmir will automatically get resolved. Imagine solving such a big problem without even doing the dirty work of clearing the world off the terrorists. This is called Intellectual shining of India. (Pointing his finger towards his forehead Mantriji asked…) Samjhe?

Interviewer: (By this time a totally confused Interviewer gets to another State) Ok Mantri ji I am sure our viewers will understand your logic. So you say India is Shining.

Mantri ji: Bilkul (Ofcourse) – 200%

Interviewer: But tell me where is it shining in the state of Uttar Pradesh?

Mantri ji: That is an internal shining. Not everyone understands it.

Interviewer: (Baffled) How? There is no Road, no electricity, increasing number of poor people, increasing criminalization, no power and electricity, no water, people die in all seasons – be it summer, winter or in monsoons, not one Chief Minister stays for more than 1-2 years. How can you say it is shining that too “Internally”?

Mantri ji: Ha Ha Ha – that is why I say you don’t look at correct places. Do you know that the largest number of Agricultural land is available in this state of Uttar Pradesh? Do you know that our Agricultural exports have gone up in the last few years? What are you talking I say? This is one state that has been the symbol of all the good things that we have achieved! We have not been in power for long and hence the pace is slow – but the core of the state is shining. Mantriji is getting worked up…

Interviewer: Baffled…Mantri ji but what is the use if the general Public is not able to enjoy the fruits of the shine that you talk? If they remain poor how will the country shine?

Mantri ji: Getting angry…This is propaganda of the opposition. No body is poor in UP.

Interviewer: But…?

Mantri ji: You seem to be an Opposition Reporter. Uttar Pradesh has given this country so many great leaders. How can you say it has not progressed? It is all wrong.

Interviewer: Ok Ok as is very clear this part of India is not shining.

Mantri ji: You say that. Not we.

Interviewer: Ok lets go to another big state of Gujarat. Do you…

Mantri ji: Oh Gujarat! Well that is the biggest example of India Shining.

Interviewer: What?

Mantri ji: Yes. Look at the Chief Minister of that state. He is the biggest example of a great leader. He has single handedly brought Gujarat into the world map.

Interviewer: Yes – but for all the wrong reasons and moreover…

Mantri ji: What moreover? Who knew Gujarat earlier? Now even if our Narendra bhai goes to UK – there the local newspapers print the schedule of his trip. Cover his trip and so on. Isn’t it an example of the state shining?

Interviewer: Yes – but they cover the event because of the protests by the Resident Indians there who want to protest against the gruesome brutality of the riots that took place in the state of Gujarat.

Mantri ji: Sab bakwaas hai (Its all fabricated). Godhra was not our creation. We only reacted to a gruesome act and as Einstein said every action has…

Interviewer: Mantriji, we are digressing …

Mantri ji: Digrrrresssing? Yeh kya hota hai? (What does this word mean?)

Interviewer: Mantriji, “Digressing” means going off the point.

Mantri ji:  Who said I am going off the point. I was referring to the Godhra kand. So as I was saying Einstein said…

Interviewer: But Mantriji we were talking about how has Gujarat contributed to the Shining of India.

Mantri ji: It is one the biggest reason why India is Shining. Look, let me explain it in a different way since you are not interested in Einstein theory, which says that Every Action has equal and opposite reaction. (Mantriji finally looks happy to complete his knowledgeable quote)…

Interviewer: But I think that is Newton’s 3^rd Law?

Mantri ji: Mantriji looking annoyed. Looks at his secretary…Newton? Yeh kaun hai? (Who is he?)

Interviewer: Newton Mantriji, the famous scientist.

Mantri ji: Oh haan haan. Maloom hai Maloom hai (I Know I Know). Modiji took his name only. Arre - how does it matter – whoever said it. But the fact remains that Godhra was master minded…

Interviewer: Finally looking frustrated and confused the reporter proceeds…Ok Mantriji, I don’t think there is any way you can prove that Gujarat has helped India Shine. So we will move on to the next…

Mantri ji:  Arre ruko ruko aise kaise…(Wait Wait – how can you say that?) Do you know that all the world leaders called up our Prime Minister to talk about Gujarat. Huh! Can it happen without Gujarat getting a name in the world? Is it not a proof that India became popular due to Gujarat? Is it not proof enough of its importance in the Shine that we have?

Interviewer: But World Leaders called PM to express their anguish…

Mantri ji: This is all opposition crap. I know that they called and they called because Gujarat became famous and that is proof of Shining India. Huh! Baat karta hai. (Silly man)

Interviewer: Seeing no way out of this impasse – reporter moves on… Ok Mantriji, Country will decide in the elections whether Gujarat helped India Shine or not…

Mantri ji: Country has already decided. Under the able leadership of our beloved Leader Atal ji we are gong to form the government. In fact – and this is off the record – I have already been promised a Mantralaya!

Interviewer: Shhhhh… Matriji – we are on Camera…

Mantri ji: O Teri…

Interviewer: Never Mind, It is pleasing to see the confidence Mantriji – but as we all know elections are a different ball game altogether. So let us move on to other states. How do you say states like Madhya Pradesh, Tamil Nadu have contributed to the India Shining?

Mantri ji: Good Question… Next please…

Interviewer: What?

Mantri ji:  Hey hey hey! Just joking. Well MP as a state was going down for the last 10 years. We have now come back to power in that state and brought the shine back to that state.

Interviewer: But you won only 3-4 months back. Has the Power and electricity problem been solved in MP?

Mantri ji: Arre… it is not easy. It will take time. But the shine is back on the people’s face.

Interviewer: Can you prove that?

Mantri ji: What is there to prove Baba? It is known – Diggy Raja is out and hence the shine is back.

Interviewer: But Digvijay Singh says that your Centre government did not provide funds to rectify roads or improve power etc.

Mantri ji: Sab bakwaas karta hai Diggy. (This is loose talk by Diggy) We have provided all the support we could. But he was only interested in opening schools in Villages. He never cared about the urban society. So he lost.

Interviewer: But Rural part of the country also requires schools. How can you say it is his fault that he was trying to spread education around his state?

Mantri ji: Yeh Rajiniti hai (This is Politics) – U will not understand I say. For India to Shine – your urban cities should shine. Haar gaya na election mein Diggy? (He managed to lose the election – isn’t it) Ha Ha Ha. Don’t worry – state of MP will shine more in coming days with Uma Didi at the helm of the affairs – God will make the state shine.

Interviewer: Getting totally out of control – Oh yes - God! Hmmm…Ok and what about Tamil Nadu?

Mantri ji: Why don’t you ask about Andhra Pradesh?

Interviewer: Oh ok so tell us about how AP has helped shine India?

Mantri ji: Simple – by getting Microsoft in Hyderabad-Secunderabad region. By installing computers in District level offices. 

Interviewer: How does this help the poor farmers committing suicide?

Mantri ji: Oh let us not talk about those people. People die everywhere and so in AP.

Interviewer: Aghast… what? So you don’t care about the farmers who have committed suicide in AP or Karnataka? Now you will say you don’t care about the Peoples’ War Group committing atrocities in AP too?

Mantri ji: In a Fix – No No – yaar you reporters na – you quote people wrongly. What I meant was that we do care but you cannot keep vigilance at every farmer’s house. Some people do commit mistake. And PWG is a militant organization, which is creating havoc with the lives of people. Chandra Babu ji is dealing with them with a firm hand.

Interviewer: Yes but that problem is still not solved and it is affecting the whole region of AP. So how is India Shining there?

Mantri ji: Getting Frustrated… Are you an opposition reporter?

Interviewer: No I ask questions that people want answers for.

Mantri ji: No No I am sure you are an opposition reporter. India is shining since we say so.

Interviewer: But nobody seems to understand where is it shining. And that is why we are trying to do this fact-finding interview.

Mantri ji: You all will never understand. Finally seeing no other way out…Pramod Mahajanji says that this is correct and hence it has to be correct.

Interviewer: But Promod Mahajan himself lost the last elections. How can we trust him with this analysis?

Mantri ji: I am not going to answer any more questions. I know that India is Shining. You reporters don’t know a thing about how to measure the shine. Can’t you see it on TV? All the advertisements show that India is shining.

Interviewer: But Mantriji, those are sponsored advertisements for which you are using public money to spend

Mantri ji: Seeing no other way to end this unfortunate interview – Mantriji tries the last option left. You will see the results of elections. The whole country believes and knows that we are shining. Only you opposition reporters don’t understand.

Interviewer: Mantriji, Kashmir is not shining, UP is not shining, Contrary to what you say – Gujarat is not shining, MP is not shining, AP is not shining, Tamil Nadu is facing water problems all across the state, Bihar is still as backward as ever, Major part of North-east is engulfed in militancy of one kind or the other. We as people of India want to know once and for all – where exactly is India Shining? Can you be more precise this last time?

Mantri ji: Arre bhai India is shining in our heart.

Interviewer: Heart? (Thinking it is getting weird now…) But I thought we were talking about the country here.

Mantri ji: Once our heart shines our country will also shine.

Interviewer: Seeing this interview going nowhere he finally starts to end this interview… Ok Mantriji I am sure people listening to this will somehow understand how India is Shining. I would like to thank you for the time spent with us for the interview…

Mantri ji: Hello Mr. How can you end this interview without asking about that… that… Ahem… I mean… Looking at his secretary standing behind the camera in search of the word. Finally the secretary prompts… Yes – how can you end this interview without asking about the FEEL GOOD FACTOR? The “Bharat Gaurav Yatra” taken out by Advaniji?

Interviewer: Mantriji, I am sure people will understand “Feel Good” and “Gaurav Yatra” the same way as they will understand the India Shining factor. Thank you.

Mantri ji: Oh! So finally you understood the India Shining Factor. See I was telling you – you will understand. I am sure people are intelligent enough to understand how India is shining. From the time we came back to power in 1999 we ensured that India shines. We have been working hard under the able leadership of beloved Atalji. He has taken India to greater heights. The Congress and the United Front had destroyed India. They created Bofors scam, They created Hawala scam, They created Telecom Scam. They destroyed the country. They also…

Interviewer: Mantriji Mantriji… The interview is over and the Camera is off. There is no one watching.

Mantri ji: Kya? Tumne bataya nahi? (You did not tell?) I will never come to give interview to your channel again. This is an insult….

The Mantriji kept rambling and went out of the studio.

Its Montoo..

I shall not Vote

Lok Sabha elections are round the corner and we are going to have to witness a huge propaganda drive all over again. We all shall be asked to vote. Vote for our future. Vote for our country. Vote for expressing our support the institution of democracy. Vote for the best candidate. We will be told to vote – why (?) because it is our right.

So – will you vote? I can’t say about you. But no Sir – I won’t. I never have and neither will I vote in the foreseeable future.

Have you ever thought about the harm that you do to this country by using your Oh (!) such precious vote? Most of you would have voted in some of the Assembly and Parliament elections. You would have voted for the best of the candidates in the fray. I mean the one who you think would do all the best things in life and would develop your region or area or for that matter your country as a whole – isn’t it? Good. You did your part of the destruction. Allow me to show you how. Allow me – to tell you how you all have allowed systematic decimation of the fabric of this country by using your vote to elect our representatives.

We are asked to vote for one of the several candidates that are in the fray. More often than not (if not in all the cases) we are asked to select the lesser of the evils and vote for him or her. And you dutifully cast our votes in favor of the lesser of the devils. Have you ever thought of how this same smaller elected devil takes your precious vote and makes a mockery of your trust? This is the same small devil that goes up to represent you in the Parliament and then uses his power to do everything that goes against our basic ethos Any scam or scandal, a murder or a loot – you will find that your beloved representative is involved in some or the other way. He is involved in the scams, He is involved in the bribery cases, he is involved in Rapes, in Murders and worst of all – he is involved in looting the money of the same people that perhaps got him or her elected. You chose him and he loots you in turn. Some justice that! Huh.

And no – That is not all – wait till I finish this off.

Look further – You vote a Devil to represent you and that person in turn rules you or rather thrusts his will on you. You elect this sick person to rule you and he ends up making abnormal laws to govern you! A candidate who does not have the basic minimum educational qualification gets to make laws for you and me. That’s some democracy I say! An uneducated person with dubious intention and a criminal background makes laws for you and forces you to follow them too. He who does not know a right from wrong is supposed to debate and tell what is right or wrong for us? I mean have you ever heard of it? Can you justify it? He who does not adhere to any law himself is telling we educated and proportionately more law abiding people what laws we should follow? C’mon is there any sense left in this world?

And hey – he does not stop there – now does he? You have given him powers and he uses it to its optimum capacity. Who cares if he makes wrong use of the powers? He does all that wrong things and then expects you to fall all over him – to praise him and vote for him – again and again. And boy – don’t you stand in long queues to do exactly that! But he is not at fault. Now is he? He is not at fault because you my dear friends have made him feel like a God. And you make him invincible by electing him again. And how? Yep – by using your vote. You all do want this country to fall on its knees. I have no doubt about it. I mean how can you digest that? We see everyday how MPs and MLAs are sold. We see how they take bribes – thanks to Tehelka – we now know the modus operandi. We hear them talk on phone offering money to switch over parties. We see how they are involved in so many scandals. But then we are not bothered since it is all a political game we are told. Huh! And we do believe them. Matters have come to such a state where Corruption does not even raise an eyebrow. A Harshad Mehta becomes a hero. A Charles Shobhraj is looked up in awe. We tell our kids – our younger ones to shun lying and avoid corruption – but we ourselves don’t have the conviction to stand against the corrupt.

Look at the chain of reactions/events that you trigger by casting your precious twin votes. You elect a representative for you in both State Assembly and in the Parliament. And by casting your vote you have:

·   Given the power of representation of your own self and your problems to a man/woman whose integrity is in question.

·   You have given power to the elected representative to make laws and govern you. A person who wastes no opportunity to fall on others feat to get his way out of trouble with utmost indignity. A person who wastes no opportunity to frisk away taxpayers money (Your Money) for his ulterior ends. A person who himself has a dark and shady background makes laws for you. And you expect justice to be done? No wonder you get acts like TADA and POTA to contend with. You are made to believe that it is best for the country. Country? Do they really care about the welfare of the country?

·   You have given this person the rights to elect the constitutional head of the country – The President himself! You expect the best person to become President in such scenarios? You should be thankful that President does not have major play in the politics and the policies designed by these people – or else you would not have seen some brilliant men getting elected. Still, the election of President as you must be aware is not on merits but on whether he is a troublemaker or not. Everybody knows why people like T.N.Seshan can never become the President of the country – because he will not take the games of our elected Representative lying down. He will react. And as you must be aware a President in our constitutional system has immense individual powers. So your elected representatives would rather have a puppet than a man who has his conscience in place. To the credit of some past Presidents though they have proved to be any thing but Puppets – at least in some instances.

·   You have given the person the right to elect the Head of our Parliamentary Democracy – The Prime Minister! You expect a noble and an honest guy to become a Prime Minister? Hmmm… your expectations are pretty high.

·   You have given him the power to decide who will be our representative in the Upper House i.e. Rajya Sabha. He uses his right to vote in the parliament to elect the Rajya Sabha members. So what? Well – here’s what you have done. By electing a corrupt man or a woman you have ensured that another corrupt person (in all likelihood a corrupt man will not chose an honest person – it would defy logic) sits in the Rajya Sabha too. Which again means that these people in Lok Sabha pass a Bill or a constitution amendment to suit their own interests and the same corrupt Rajya Sabha members pass it to the President for signature! Nothing wrong – except that the Bill actually affects you and me as the normal law abiding citizens.

·   You have given him powers through your vote to disburse the funds, provided by the Government of India, for welfare and development of the country. You expect them to disburse the money in a just manner? They are the lesser of the Evils – remember? Now c’mon – you only elected him. You expect him to be at the height of his honesty and use the fund to raise the standards of living of the public? Has anybody ever done it? Even Rajiv Gandhi had to comment that out of every Rupee that is given for development to your elected representative – only 15 paise reaches the actual beneficiary. Welfare? Huh.

·   You have voted a person because he/she may be representing a particular political party. But does he/she honor that commitment or trust shown by you. It takes but a moment for him/her to switch their loyalty to the opposing party and that too by accepting huge bribes. Remember the Jharkhand Mukti Morcha MPs accepting money and voting to save the Government of the day? Surprisingly no one talked about whether giving or taking money was wrong in that case. What everybody especially the politicians talked about were whether the money was given inside or outside the Parliament! And since it was given inside the Parliament – the act could not be punished as MPs have immunity for an act inside the Parliament! These people are still your representatives in the Parliament/ State Assemblies. And how? Oh! You elected them dear readers – remember?

·   You by casting your vote to this person again and again have given him/her such powers that he/she becomes difficult to dislodge. The Raja Bhaiyyas, The Jayalalithas, The Shahabuddins, The Laloos, and so many more are but a few examples of the same. They come to your home initially to ask for vote. Later they kick you to the polling stations to make you vote. And you poor powerless citizens of the country feel entirely helpless. And who gives them so much of power? You using your… remember?

·   You have given them powers to control the executive administrators. You cry and shout foul when you see an honest Director of General or a Collector being removed or transferred. But did you expect any thing else? Did you expect the criminal – the devil you have elected to keep an honest Administrator in his/her region? You must be dreaming I say.

·   You give this person power and immunity from every act of corruption that he/she indulges in. No wonder it is not The Bangaru Laxmans or The Jaya Jaitleys who are behind the bars or in the court. It is the Tehelka news portal employees and the owners who are harassed and brought to court, It is not The Fernandes of the political group who are out of power for Coffin Scam – it is some Army Personnel who have had to face the Court Martial. And similarly it is not the Kuntes, The Naidus who are removed from the respective political parties for the Telgi Stamp paper scam. It is Mumbai Police Commissioner who is behind bars. Why? Because he could not fight and election and become your leader. It is not The Judeos, The Jogis who are being prosecuted for accepting unlawful money. It is the people who planned and gave them the money. It is not the Jayalalithas and Mayawatis or the Thakreys who are behind bars for corruption or incitement of communal passion. How can they be arrested? They have YOU and your lifetime vote with them. Can anybody touch them? C’mon they can’t be brought to book? Isn’t it? Boy – you all do need some doze of rightful thinking.

You don’t need to be brilliant to understand how you have been systematically destroying the country. The corrupt have become so powerful that you are not able to dislodge them now. And who has made them into such powerful power brokers? It is you and only you. You have given them reason to believe that politics is not only for scoundrels but a safe heaven for Criminals too.

Strange are your ways. You - who consider yourself to be fair and efficient, actually elect these people to create such havoc. Times are such that if someone comes up to you and says that he/she is an honest person – you give him/her your most crooked wry and a sly smile and end up doubting his/her own judgment. Honest? Huh. It has become a rarity today to find an honest man. In the chain of corrupt system, if you are being honest – you can be sure of being thrown out. That’s how the system works these days and that is because of your adamant nature of voting the lesser of the evils to power. Remember  -Corruption does not start at the bottom. It is one of the rare things that grows at the top and then spills down to the lower echelons.

Wake up friends – because there isn’t much left. Don’t wait for something dramatic to happen – because it won’t happen on its own. You have helped in creating this damage. Only you can bring it in order by taking stern corrective action. You have voted too many times now. It’s enough. Stop it. You have no right to give this country a corrupt administrator just because someone asks you to vote. You have no right to handover a corrupt system to the next generation to come. You have no right to preach honesty and support the corrupt. And hey – You have no business to stand silently in a corner and vote and allow these buggers to loot and destroy my country.

We have to uproot this bane of society from its root. The only way of destroying it is to cut the tree from the top itself. You can nurture the root and get a fresh tree later. It is the only way you can rectify your follies. Democracy may not be the best form of governance – but in the situation you don’t have anything better. So stand up and be counted. Corruption has become multi hydra and we need to come together to fight it.

I ask you – Not to vote. Ask your Parents, Your Sisters, Your Brothers, Cousins, Friends, colleagues and who ever you can talk to – not to vote. Let us bring the voting percentage down by as much as possible. Let us make every one of the representatives realize that the majority of the eligible voters have not elected them. Let us make the Election Commission think on the reasons of low voter turnout. Let us create an atmosphere for a debate on the same in all the TV channels, in newspapers and any electronic or print media. If we can achieve a lower voting percentage in elections to the tune of 10-15 percent – you think it will go unnoticed? It will create uproar. Our Fourth Estate is very agile and they shout about every other thing. They cannot possibly stay quite on this. Can they? Let us force the Parliamentarians, the lawmakers to think on the ways to bring the people back to the polling booth to vote. Let them make laws for the minimum qualification required for a candidate to file his or her papers to start with. Let them make rules on the minimum percentage required for a candidate to be declared victorious. Let us force them to make laws for themselves for a change. Let us not make it easier for them to live peacefully while we suffer. Let us make them earn their seat in the esteemed and august house of Parliament and Assembly. Let us make them earn the victory with their deeds and behavior – the way we earn our respect and life. Make them earn the right to take oath on our behalf in the Parliament. Let us make them realize the truth – and the truth is – if not for us they would not be sitting in the Parliament. The truth is that they have to work for the constituency they represent. The truth is that we have given them a responsibility and they will have to deliver the goods if they wish to get re-elected. The truth is that we elect them to serve us and not to rule us. The days of being ruled are gone. Sadly we – the citizens of this country – have still not realized that. Remember if you are ready to be ruled – well – rulers will find you and crush you. Democracy makes the Common Man the Ruler and all the elected representatives of the country as servants. Till we get this equation right – we won’t benefit from this institution everyone calls as DEMOCRACY.

Let us bring a revolution – A revolution of its own kind. Together we can achieve it. I won’t rest till I achieve it.

And till I achieve it – I will not Vote.

Its Montoo..

The Nines Theory

Number ‘9’ is a mystical number. It is a Magical, Universal, Complete, and Sacred number. Number ‘9’ is seen as the number of completeness. It marks the end of the human gestation period and the end of a series of numbers (1-10), as well as a complete circle (360 degrees = 3 + 6 + 0 = 9). It is also believed that ‘9’ is the Universal Number, present within every other number. Number ‘9’ rules all life & electrical energy. Add 9 to any other number & 9 will be absorbed. Multiply 9 by any number and it can’t be destroyed. Add it to its own multiple & it always comes back. In Numerology it stands for complete cycle of growth. It is THE most important number in the chronological order of number system - I mean the single digit numbers from 0-9.

Hoof! That is too much of theory. Well you ain’t heard even half of them! There are many more magical and mystical reasoning to number ‘9’. I am not here to lecture you with all of these, which many of you would know in some or the other form anyways. I am here to share with you a realization that has hit me recently and hit me hard. And it also concerns this number – yes – our very own – number ‘9’.

Before I get into the specifics and concept of what I have found, let me share the abstract of the theory that drives this concept.

Carefully observe – since your birth – every ninth year (9^th, 18^th, 27^th, 36^th and so on) of your life would have been significant years. These years would have had profound effect on you – Incidents or events that would have defined your personality, your thought process, your career and things of that kind. Good or bad – these years would have been path-defining year for you.

Allow me to demonstrate this with the history of our country since independence. I am sure you will appreciate this theory before you reach the end of this article

India was born when the whole world “Slept”. As Jawaharlal Nehru said on that fateful night of 14^th August 1947 – and I quote – “At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom”. Yes, a new India was born at that stroke of that midnight. Our dream had taken the shape of reality. And this nation has never been the same since!

I wish to prove my point with the example of the history of India from the year of her Inception (i.e. 1947). I will highlight only the most significant incidents of every ninth year of our Independent history. I won’t go into too much of detail lest we lose focus of the scope of this article.

Year 1947: We got Independence and symbolically at-least we were born. So we will take this year as the start of our Great history to prove my point.

Year 1956: First significant event of this year was the declaration of Naga resistance/ Movement by the feared Naga Militants. We are still struggling to bring peace in that region of the state of Nagaland. Second significant event of this year was the much-hyped visit of the Chinese Chairman of Communist Party and Premier, Zhou Enlai to India. The message that he brought was of peace and friendship. India was truly foxed by his visit. Now, China had always had aggressive intents in those times and the Indo-China border was anything but peaceful. It is widely believed that we went easy on the borders against China after the Premier’s visit and lost the war that ensued, much sooner than we should have. That is the only war we have lost since. It was a master political move by Zhou Enlai though and his visit of 1956 is thus considered as one of the major events of Indian history.

Year 1965: Pakistan attacked India. We fought back ferociously and won the war. This is the first victory of Indian Armed Forces in any direct war. And since it was against Pakistan – it was all the more sweeter and memorable.

Year 1974: First significant event of this year was India’s first successful test of nuclear bomb in Pokharan. More formally dubbed the "Peaceful Nuclear Explosive" or PNE, but commonly called “Smiling Buddha”, this test made India a major player in the world affairs. We were only the sixth nation in the world to have successfully developed and tested a nuclear bomb. The Second most significant decision taken in this year was the proclamation of a National “Emergency” for the first time in our democratic history. Most of the members of our ruling elite today, were put behind bars during that phase. That was the first and fortunately the last time an Emergency was proclaimed in India. Though it was a disaster for Congress (I) – it nevertheless is an important event in our independent political history.

Year 1983: First significant achievement of this year was the victory of Indian cricket team in “Prudential World Cup”. An unsuspecting team from India, popularly known as “Kapil’s Devils” now, won the world championship of cricket! We had never before, and have never since, got this honor in cricket arena. The popularity of this game rose to such heights that today cricket is considered to be THE only religion that binds India! And that speaks volumes about that achievement. The second most significant event was the imposition of President’s rule in the state of Punjab (to curb the secessionist movement spreading rapidly in the state). Article 356 of the constitution (Imposition of President’s Rule) was used for the first time against any state in India. Since then, many state governments have been dismissed using Article 356. The imposition of the State of Emergency in Punjab worsened the situation in the state. This eventually led to “Operation Blue Star” (planned by the political elite and executed by the Indian Army in the famous Golden Temple of Amritsar). And it would not be wrong to say that the then Prime Minister of India, Mrs. Indira Gandhi, had to eventually pay with her life for the unfortunate act.

Year 1992: Babri Masjid was demolished in this historic year. Well – The lesser said the better on this shameful event. We are a declared secular state and a permanent damage has been made to the secular fabric of this country due to this one incident. The people of this nation we all love have never been the same since. The country is yet to see the end of this demoralizing saga. Only time will tell how this incident is judged by the future generation.

Year 2001: A thunderous earthquake hit Bhuj (Gujarat) in this fateful year. Bhuj was the epicenter of the biggest earthquake India has ever witnessed in its own land. It killed more than 100,000 people - and I am only talking of official figures here.
Year 2010: Hmmm…we will see. Now - Won’t we?

Isn’t it amazing?

Critics of this logic may say that sometimes we are so intent on seeing things that we
see them even when they are not there. They may argue that all these are huge coincidences. Well – yes – that may also be true. But here the facts are there for us to see and fathom. And remember, a “Coincident” event, occurring more than once, simply cannot be a coincidence. Period. It has to have a theory or a law governing it and this theory can be defined.

I call this my “Nines Theory”. And I say:

An Object undergoes huge changes in its property on every consecutive Ninth year of its inception.

Well…I would have been able to define my theory in more powerful words, if only I had the Einsteins and the Darwins as my advisors or assistants. Since they are no more with us – this possibility is unfortunately ruled out. You all will have to live with my way of defining the “Nines” Theory! The events (as mentioned in the above example of Indian Independent History) do prove that “Nines” theory is more than what I have put in words here. It is hugely significant and worth taking note of.

As I like saying my dear friends – “The evidence as we see is – Overwhelming!”

Any Questions?

Mantosh Singh..

23^rd Nov 2003’